Tuesday, June 13, 2006

But Can I call Her Fans Paris-ites?

Just look at the Paris Hilton phenomenon and the way every other teenager looks like a prostitute.
Tom Ford, Designer 1961-

A woman should be less concerned about Paris and more concerned about whether the dress she's about to buy relates to the way she lives.
Geoffrey Beene, Designer (Speaking of Paris, France) 1927-2004

I really wanted to hate the new Paris Hilton single, Stars Are Blind. Really. Really very badly. I wanted to be able to mock it and revile it as I do the woman herself. I wanted to laugh along with others as we marvelled at this scrap of piffle crafted solely to satisfy the immense ego of a spoiled young woman with far more money than talent or grace.

Yes, I wanted that very much.

The problem is, the song itself is not all that bad. It's a pop song featuring over-engineered vocals that amelodically warble some mediocre lyrics over a canned synth-reggae beat track. In short, it sounds a lot like much of the other disposable pop music that bounces about in the top ten for awhile until its balloon, well, pops. Paris can't actually sing as such, but it doesn't matter. The song has been designed to play to her strengths, so she performs a kind of a chanting whispery affair that is as banal as it is forgettable. Certainly it will be very, very successful.

In addition to the song itself is a music video with only slightly less soul and relevance than its musical component. It is described by the Paris camp (crew?) as an homage to the video for Chris Isaak's Wicked Game. I would be tempted to believe that if it were not or two things: Thing One: Paris Hilton takes credit for the artistic inspiration to film the video in black and white. Truly she is a visionary ahead of her time! If her time were 1982, that is. Thing Two: I am not certain that Paris knows what an homage is.

Anyway, in summation: Not terrible. Far from great. Somewhat unadjacent even to good. Just not bad enough to muster any depth of disgust.

Looking around the web I see that there are many, many people willing to tear down the song simply because they harbour so strong a dislike for Paris. I think that there is some intellectual dishonesty there. Just take it for what it is. It is junk pop and a lot of people will love it - there is a fanclub that has recruited member from around the world to bombard a Los Angeles radio station with requests in order to force the track to number one. These are people (well, girls mostly... maybe some gay guys - do gay guys like Paris? Cole Porter did - ha ha!) that can't even tune into the station, but they love Paris Hilton. Go figure.

It is funny that I just saw Nelly Furtado's newest track and I think that the two of them, sadly, are of a similarly weak and forgettable quality. I understand Furtado's single is a solid hit in Europe. And then there is Madonna.

That, pretty much, is why I listen to talk radio.


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